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GoT Catch Up – Episode 4

After the very important character deaths in episode 3, episode 4 started with the somber scene of the fallen comrades from the previous battle, all piled up ready to be set alight, JON SNOW gave a powerful speech about the heroism of the departed, how they gave their lives for the ones still standing, and how they will avenge their death.

It was the sort of speech which Pakistani actors can only WISH and TRY to give in their ISPR movies but fail miserably, maybe they should try a thick Scottish accent next time, and being “presumably” male they should wear lesser MAKE UP too.. Okay we’ll stop with the roasting, we’re fasting you see, and its only 4 pm, don’t expect any more niceness. With that, each of the integral characters attending the funeral, go to the person that directly saved their life or was close to them, and set them alight with their torches, real FIRE torches, not the china ki LED torch you have on your side table in case “aap kay area ka feeder trip hogaya”.

Such a sad scene was followed by a feast, Danerys takes the privilege of naming Gendry (the black smith) the new Lord of storms end. She’s a nice lady who rides Dragons, you want her as your girlfriend, admit it.

Of course there’s alcohol too, TORMUND was there and you know what happens when he has a few too many drinks out of his twisted bull horn – The “giants milk” drinking buffoon is at it again, infact, Tormund was so drunk, the rest of the cast kept a STARBUCKS LATTE on the table next to Denarys so they could sober him up quickly, but it was too late, he said some embarrassing yet brutally honest facts about how Jon is the hero and the favored one in the Winterfell camp, Jon is all smiles, Danerys sees this, then Jon catches a glimpse of her, he knows that she knows, and now she knows that Jon knows that she knows, that everyone thinks Jon is the real hero and the favorite for king, and not Danerys as queen, it’s a long chain of “you knows”.

Danerys sees the unity amongst even previous foes like Lady Brianna and Jaime Lannister. Things are awkward for her.

After the feast, Danerys has a one on one meet with Jon in the bedroom. She’s trying to lure him closer in, to keep him as her ally, and nothing works better after a funeral and booze than some romance. Hey it’s game of thrones! But then he remembers she’s his Aunt! Yikes! Of course she wants Jon to keep it a secret from everyone about their REAL bhaanja khala phuppi relation, but Jon is far too loyal to the starks, his only family he’s known all his life to hide the fact that he’s infact Aegon Targaryen. He asks Bran to tell Arya and Sansa Stark, because unlike Jon who knows nothing, Bran know EVERYTHING, being the “Chimgaadar” err “3 eyed raven” he is.

Then Sansa has a hard time keeping this info from Tyrrion Lannister but thank God she manages to do so, because if she tells anyone, it’ll spread faster than dragons wild fire.. and Sansa would suddenly become the “fasaadi parosan”.

Brianna and Jaime get drunk and FINALLY just “do it”. Next morning, Jamie finds out what Cersei has done, and all of a sudden the “good Jamie” Lannister we’ve seen for the past few seasons just vanishes, he’s turning back to his old shrewd cunning Lannister ways.

And so we’re off to battle, again. and this time Euron Greyjoy (who is so hateful, he makes Ramsay Bolton and Joffrey seem like mere pesky bacchas who make faces at the back of the class) has an even bigger GHULAIL / scorpion weapon, and just like that, with a few arrows he manages to kill Rhaegal, now 2 out of 3 dragon are dead!

Such a shocker, and after a short battle scuffle, Misandae has been taken prisoner by Cersei.

Battle preps are on, Cersei wants her enemies to storm the castle walls, and kill as many innocent people of kings landing, so that it plays on the conscience of team Danerys and Jon and weakens their morale.

Cersei makes her battle stance clear by showing a memory from season 1 where she says these words “when you play the game of thrones, you win, or you DIE”. I’m beginning to think the GOT writers copy lines from GEO TV dramas.

Tyrrion goes to have a “compro/samjhota” with Cersei’s buddha hand of the queen, pleading that if there’s a battle, lots of innocents will die, not to mention his sister Cerseis side will lose… but the other side seems oblivious and opposite of this notion.

Tyrrion walks closer to the gate to have a big long “GHOORI” with his BAAJI, and after a few words of Tyrrion saying “ghussa thooko behen”, Cersei puts her prisoner Misandae in front, asks if she has any last words before her head becomes a bowling ball, she shouts “DRACARYS”!

We know what that means, for next episode she’s told Danerys to “LIGHT THIS *ITCH UP”.

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