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Look for the woman in the clothes

Have you ever wondered what defines you as a woman? Certainly not the perfectly put together image you present to the world in the outfit that a thousand other women are wearing.

Why would you want to look like everyone else, when there is a huge variety to choose from? I think if women try to think about what makes them different from each other, it would help them find themselves and stop them from ever looking at another woman and saying, “I love what you are wearing. I want it too.”

 I’ve seen it happen time and again, though I do believe style is in everyone’s DNA. Some work on it while others are happy to just copy others. Cultivating your style is serious business and some of us need help. It’s a voyage of discovery, finding out who you are, what suits you and what colours or shapes you should avoid.

Start with the way you want to look by day, and go on to the evening. The key to good dressing is simplicity and everything else will fall into place. The printed kurta with lots of embellishment might be all the rage but maybe it’s just not for you. Most of us rush towards it as it’s safe and something everyone is wearing.

Fashion is a vast landscape which allows you to explore the many facets of your being, not a cell in which you lock yourself. It is society that imprisons you. The desire to fit in attacks the very core of your confidence and despite yourself, the fear of not fitting in propels you into an uncomfortable state where you have pushed your body forcefully into someone else’s space.

You will discover the YOU in you, when you are comfortable in your own skin. Whether you are a conservative, classic or a contemporary trend setter you can still be trendy.

Coco Chanel said fashion fades but style stays forever, but what she forgot to tell us was that style comes from confidence. As a woman who lives and breathes style, I feel strongly about the necessity of a role model. Someone who guides us to enjoy how we look rather than aspire to be a runway model. If you don’t aspire to know yourself, you will never have great style and you will always look in the mirror and not like what you see.

“You can fall into a simple uniform that looks like everyone else’s, or you can live out loud and have a little fun while you’re here.” -Iris Apfel

I have been fortunate as I was born into a family that had a legacy of strong, elegant women. They were my role models.

I wrote the following lines on a whim but every time I read it I know that this is the message I want to send out to every woman.

I always follow my heart
I create my own style
I refuse to conform
I’m tough but I’m soft inside
Love me a little and I will love you a lot
I’m a woman.
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