Cancelling plans can prove healthier for your mental state of mind at times, but why is that?

Were you the type of person that enjoyed going out and socialising but recently feel differently about it? Have you ever found yourself committing to plans and later on regretting them? Changing your mind and wanting to stay in your comfort space?

If it does sound familiar, you’ll be pleased to know that you are not alone. Think of this as a clue for what is going on in your mind and body, there must be reasons for why you feel this way because everything that is within you and around you is connected.

Photo: Apartment Therapy
Photo: Apartment Therapy

If you can’t think of a few reasons for why this has been happening to you than fear no more. We may be able to help you out, here are a few reasons and solutions for your indecisiveness.

1. You May Be Experiencing 'Burn Out'

We’ve all heard what it means to experience burnout at work but we forget that being burnout isn't only restricted to work. Sometimes we socialise so much that we reach our limit and become socially exhausted, giving out so much energy that we don’t have any left for ourselves. Some people recharge by being around others and some recharge by spending some alone time. Understand that you are not restricted to being an introvert or an extrovert, you can move between the lines and adjust however is beneficial for you!

Solution: Spend less time committing to plans and spend more time on your own and doing things that you genuinely enjoy. This could also mean making time for important work such as running errands, hobbies you enjoy or fixing things around the house because delaying them can make one anxious.

2. You’ve Learnt to be Comfortable With Yourself

Now this is less of a problem and more of a plus! Many people use socialising and going out as a way to avoid themselves, feeling a sense of awkwardness and discomfort when you are alone is more common than you think. Growing up we aren’t really taught to be alone and comfortable with ourselves mainly because it is not something that can just be taught. More than anyone else, one should be able to spend hours on end by themselves because at the end of the day, we are all that we have.

Solution: Do the uncomfortable. If that means sitting in your room alone watching a movie or reading. Explore your likes and curiosity, it will lead you to discover a great deal of yourself, your likes and dislikes. In the long run, you may even find your purpose in life this way!

Photo: Casper
Photo: Casper

3. You Might Feel Social Anxiety

Sometimes when we are put in situations that are unfamiliar around new people and it may make us feel anxious. Feeling uncomfortable or nervous when faced with having to engage in small talk with unfamiliar people, feeling as though we are being watched and judged. It could be because maybe we weren’t informed about the social setting and were caught off guard or maybe we just didn’t have the energy to socialize with someone new?

Solution: Make plans with people that you know and are comfortable with. If you have committed to a plan you can’t get out of, mentally prepare before you go by getting all the information you need. You can also use past experiences to understand when and why you feel anxious around people and what you can do if you are in the same situation next time.

4. Peer Pressure and Toxic Friendships

This one is quite common, we are often pressured to commit to plans because our friends would like us to come. Peer pressure can lead to loss of individuality, constant peer pressure can make us forget our needs and feel that our peer’s needs are more important. It can turn into herd mentality and often lead to invasion of boundaries. Friends who disrespect your boundaries are not really your friends, if they get angry every time you say no then they are not the healthiest of people to be around.

Solution: Take time to consider if you really want to go out or if you are only doing so because you are pressured into the situation. If you understand that it is pressure that is luring you in then stand your ground. Say no to plans even if it makes you uncomfortable and upsets your friends. Choose your comfort first, and don’t worry about those losing friends. Friends that don’t respect your boundaries were never your friends and your mental health will be better without them.

Photo: Simply Emma
Photo: Simply Emma

As we come to the end of our list, we hope that it was of help and that everyone took something positive out of it. There are no problems that can’t be solved and there is no stage in life that is permanent so if you are not in a good place right now, just hold on because it won’t last forever. Have a beautiful week!

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